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Unicorns Aren't Extinct Yet

I went down the Lagan Meadows last night with a bottle of pink champaigne. The optimism of Spring didn't last it seems. There were some people sitting at the mouth of the meadows all having a laugh. I was feeling jealous until I heard my name shouted...

Published 9 Mar 2010 11:55 AM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Lagan Meadows, Betty Blue, charity shops, clarence, Rock and Roll Stephen, the smoker, pink champaigne, the unicorn girl, the indie kid

Pain

At the back of the carpark on Tomb St where sk8rkids huff paintball pellets and drink Solschenizyn (brown lemonade, schnapps and a dash of Fanta), was Rock and Roll Stephen, the Unicorn Girl and Clarence Pishflap. "This isn't your usual place...

Published 27 Feb 2010 3:38 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Betty Blue, fantasy, clarence, teeth, Rock and Roll Stephen, leotards, pink champaigne, the unicorn girl, solschenizyn, sk8erkids, tomb st, brown lemonade, schnapps

My Protege has Gone Astray

Hot Baby Roy and Wino Jo are huffing with each other over who's doing which part of the Anfield Rap, so I took myself to *** out the house and went down with Battle Cat to see Nanny Boo Boo. She brought out a big plate of buns for us and me and Battle...

Published 24 Jan 2010 7:41 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Battle Cat, Shoplifting, stranmillis, Nanny Boo Boo, flowers, wine, tramps, cider, stealing, bearing his arse

Coming Off Crack

There was a thing on the Stephen Nolan show this morning about the drugs problem in Ballymena. I don't know much about what it's like down there but it has a reputation for it. I think drugs are a big problem because there's *** all to do...

Published 21 Jan 2010 9:34 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Sammy Wilson, Belfast, BBC, Crack, Fabian Wildman, Hot Baby Roy, Daemon, wank, ballymena, teenage rebel, Radio Ulster, Stephen Nolan, drugs, james currie, mayor, romcoms, xbox

Hot Leotard Muscle Party Time

One of the Leotard Girls came round to the house today, it was the one with the black hair. Hot Baby Roy was out walking Battle Cat. I've seen this pattern before. Fabian Wildman used it go get his feet under the table and I just can't feel bad...

Published 13 Dec 2009 6:04 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Battle Cat, Hot Baby Roy, Weekend, birthday party, leotard girls, sporty, muscle men, beefy muscle men

Sleepwalking Underwear Thief

So I was lying in bed last night trying to sleep after a hard week's work when I hear Hot Baby Roy open his room door and shuffle off down the stairs. He's walking funny by the sound of things so I go out and follow him. I catch him in a pair...

Published 5 Dec 2009 3:57 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Hot Baby Roy, sleepwalk, washing line, theft, snobs, fence, panties, heartbreak, naive, barely legal, bitter, tuesday kid. knickers. true love

Spare Keys and Credit Card Details

I had to go and get a key cut on my lunch break today because Hot Baby Roy said he never had one last time he stayed. He said that Fabian Wildman must have kept his after he moved out. I didn't like the idea of him running about with a key because...

Published 2 Dec 2009 6:02 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Crack, Fabian Wildman, fired, Hot Baby Roy, call centre, voluntary work, london girl, breaking into houses, key cutting service, rob

A nice Suprise

Yesterday started off really pish. I went and bought more booze and went down to Tomb St Carpark where all the Emo kids hang out but it was too pish for them to be out so I sat by myself listening to cars passing overhead. Then I took a walk out Corporation...

Published 21 Oct 2009 9:38 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Hot Baby Roy, Hooka, Nanny Boo Boo, mother of bowling ball, wild child, protege, birthday party, who are we, metallica

Poor Battle Cat Again

Battle Cat tried to bite the postman today. The postman was lucky there was a big door between them or Battle Cat would have had his balls. I hope he gets over Fabian Wildman soon, that or Fabian comes to visit. If only for the pup I'd let him in...

Published 26 Sep 2009 8:30 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Battle Cat, balls, postman, pining

Battle Cat is Lonely

I think Battle Cat is missing Fabian Wildman. He goes up into Fabian's old room and sits and whines sometimes. I think I might get a manikin and put some of Fabian's old clothes on it so he can think it's him (because of the scent). Fabian...

Published 25 Sep 2009 4:43 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Battle Cat, Dog, manikin, hot bitch, clothes, scent, single parents, bastard

Crap Day in Belfast

Nanny Boo Boo´s house is much nicer than mine and I´m half tempted to stay there but I´ve drunk all the wine and there´s not much else in the fridge so I had to go back to mine today. My house is a bit skanky and to tell you the truth if I was paying...

Published 19 Sep 2009 9:45 AM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, jail, Crack, Fabian Wildman, Hot Baby Roy, Good King Thumpo, Ormeau Road, Botanic Avenue, Lisburn Road, Nanny Boo Boo, broken legs, phantoms, whiskey, skanky house

Another Shite Day at the Dole

It's been a weird few days. It's been great sunny weather and I've been miserable as ***. I ran out of money and had to go down the dole for a crisis loan. Nasty fuckers, say that they can't give you one unless it's an emergency so...

Published 15 Sep 2009 2:39 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: unemployment, Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Dole, Shoplifting, spide, text, phone, connor building, crisis loan, secuity guard, fuckers, fat crisp eating bastard, Great Victoria St, cash, socks, goo-goo

Fabian Leaves

Fabian Wildman left this morning. Stanley came round in his car and they shifted their stuff. It was gruesome. He didn't even knock my door to ask for help. I was still pissed off at him for how the party ended. In the end I went down to say goodbye...

Published 10 Sep 2009 2:44 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Battle Cat, stranmillis, Nanny Boo Boo, 20th century art, wine, sleepwalk, the shadows, piss

Fabian Wildman's Leaving Party

Last night was Fabian Wildman's leaving party. Of course, I was one of the first people on the scene. Me Fabian and Betty Blue tucked into the wine while we waited for the guests to arrive. I gave Fabian his book on 20th Century art and he blurted...

Published 9 Sep 2009 10:20 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Betty Blue, Hot Baby Roy, mother of bowling ball, unicorn girl, clarence, 20th century art, babysitters club, black books, postman pat, 10 things I hate about you

Shoplifting in Belfast

I'm just back into the house now with my bag of goodies. I went in the city centre this morning to get a present for Fabian's leaving. I started by shoplifting a copy of Catcher in the Rye that I promised someone I'd read. I thought while...

Published 8 Sep 2009 2:30 PM by Party Down and Go *** Yourself

Filed under: Belfast, Fabian Wildman, Battle Cat, Shoplifting, Hot Baby Roy, City Centre, john lennon, cool original, teenage rebel, catcher in the rye, doritos, 20th century art, wine, beatles, mark chapman

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